Dear family,
You know me well. As such you know that I can’t and won’t function in a messy house. I’ve been saying that all your lives and I’ve explained it to you one billion times. Maybe two billion.
You say you want clean clothes? No problem. Simply put your dirty laundry in the laundry basket, NOT on the bedroom floor, bathroom counter, or behind the bathroom door. Don’t stuff your stinky socks between the couch cushions, under the dining room table, or under the shoe shelf.
You want your laundry folded too? You know that based on the design of this house, the best place for me to fold your laundry is on the kitchen counter. Unfortunately the kitchen counter is currently cluttered with school papers and various odds and ends from your school backpacks, empty cereal boxes, an empty apple sauce container, and an empty milk jug. Sorry. Until your crap stuff is cleared off the counter, you’ll have to fetch your clothes (the ones I found in the laundry basket) from the other laundry basket (of clean clothes).
You wanted me to make dinner? I would, except the sink is full of dirty dishes you all left behind from your various meals and snacks over the last two days. It’s pretty clear who’s turn it is to dishes, yet still they sit. Since we don’t have clean dishes, there’s nothing for you to eat off of so I can’t serve dinner. Sorry.
What was that? You were watching TV? Oh I’m sorry! The blinds are dusty and the floor needs vacuumed. I didn’t mean to get into your way.
Love,
Mom
Jack 'n Tracie ~ Life 
lol, you go mom.