The Arsenal

There’s been some questions about how much I really did exaggerate in my post yesterday, War has been declared. I offer you some evidence in the form of photos. After viewing the evidence, you can judge for yourself just how much truth bending occurred yesterday.

Here’s your first photo evidence. This is only part of their arsenal. See the books? I’d like to think my kids are super interested in their education, but those big heavy books make great anchors for their blanket/clothing forts. Also, if you look closely, you’ll catch a glimpse of our youngest soldier.

Nerf Dart Gun Arsenal, that includes the Machine Gun (aka The Vulcan)

Nerf Dart Gun Arsenal, that includes the "Machine Gun" (aka The Vulcan)

While not pictured, Kayla was the target.

Shooting Kayla as she arrived

Shooting Kayla as she arrived

This machine gun is almost as big as Cody.

This "machine gun" is almost as big as Cody.

Note the man on the floor, the dart sticking out of his forehead, the ottoman on its side, the blanket over the couch and ottoman, and the pile of blankets and pillows on the floor.

Note the man on the floor, the dart sticking out of his forehead, the ottoman on its side, the blanket over the couch and ottoman, and the pile of blankets and pillows on the floor.

I rest my case.

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War has been declared

Nerf Darts... EVERYWHERE! It all started here.

The younger boys exchanged their helicopters for nerf dart guns and it’s been WAR ever since.

One of the older boys decided he needed to get a nerf dart gun. Then the other older boy decided he needed one too, then another, then a nerf dart machine gun. THEN. The oldest boy (aka Jack, aka the father of all these boys) needed one too.

Furniture is being re-arranged. Darts fly across the house constantly. I find nerf darts in the sink, on my desk, in the heater vents, in our food, in the pantry, laundry room, kitchen, dining room, and stuck to any surface a nerf dart will stick. We have small nerf darts, and big nerf darts, and glow in the dark nerf darts.

The girls in this house? Well, all the boys managed to corrupt the youngest one so she’s joined their war, while Sissa and I just put up with it the best we can. Sure we can’t watch TV from the comfort of our couch because 9 times out of 10 the couch cushions are missing since they make great barricades. It wouldn’t matter anyway since there’s likely 58 darts stuck to the TV screen. Sometimes in patterns.

In my house, it’s now quite common to find a boy, or girl, or two boys and a fully grown man dramatically crawling across the carpet, combat style, telling everyone else to shush, while somewhere else in the house you’ll hear someone scream, “YOU’RE DEAD!! I SHOT YOU FAIR AND SQUARE! (…not in the face mom…)”.

If you want to visit us from now on, I must warn you: Come fully armored. You’ll likely be greeted by 67 nerf darts flying at you from all directions and the words, “Darn I thought you were dad” the second the door is opened.

If you don’t have good balance and quick reflexes, I advise you to not come over at all. In order to navigate my house, you must be ready to dodge while navigating chairs and any movable hard surface with pillows, blankets, and possible large clothing items covering them, most times blocking the entrance to, well… anywhere. That includes the bathroom. So make sure you “go” before you come over.

OK. Fine. I *might* be exaggerating. But only a little.

The Elves were Slackin'

Cody thinks Santa’s elves were slackin’ this year. First, when they packaged his new Star Wars Legos the Complete Saga game for the PS3, they didn’t ensure the disk was properly secured so it was free-floating in the box. He was so NOT OK with this even though the game was fine and him and I have played countless hours together since Christmas morning.) 🙂

The really cool remote control fighter helicopters he and Casey got from Santa Christmas morning lasted all of maybe 1 hour tops. For Cody, his lasted all of one take-off before it crashed and broke. We were so NOT OK with this. (We paid Santa’s elves $70.00 for the helicopter set).

THEN, the lamp/organizer/ipod speakers Sissa got for her birthday flat out didn’t work at all. No light. No music. Nada. WE were so NOT OK with that either.

All of the above did make for a fun day shopping yesterday though. We gave ‘the elves’ back the helicopters and let the boys pick out something else entirely. They ended up with nerf dart guns (Casey got two different dart guns, Cody got one gun, two dragon figurines, and one Star Wars figurine) and have had more enjoyment out of those dart guns in the last 12 hours than those stupid helicopters ever would have. (The helicopters sure were a neat idea though.) We also exchanged Sissa’s lamp/organizer/iPod speakers with one that worked.

MP3/iPod Lamp Organizer

MP3/iPod Lamp Organizer

During the exchange of her lamp, (at Burlington Coat Factory) we met the biggest slacker elf of all. Well at least the strangest ‘elf’. Possibly even a bi-polar elf. She was the oddest mixture of friendly and rude at the same time I think I’ve ever encountered.

She started off cheerful and greeted me kindly, asked how she could help, etc. But when she found out I wanted to exchange the lamp she frowned and examined the box and asked me accusingly,

“What happened to the box?”

There was nothing wrong with the box other than Sissa opened it on the seam instead of at the top. There were no dents, holes, etc. Nothing to indicate it had been dropped or damaged in any way. I shrugged and told her nothing was wrong with it and I have no idea why it was opened on the seam. I jokingly added that my kids always seem to open boxes in the most difficult way instead of the obvious/easier way. (You should see how they open cereal boxes… it’s baffling.) Checkout girl… er ‘efl’ just gave me blank stare. She didn’t think it was one bit funny. After she was done staring me down, she gave me a fake/sarcastic smile and another accusation:

AND, I see you didn’t leave the UPC on the box.”

To which I explained, “Nope. It was a gift”. (I blinked back at her.)

She gave me a condescending look, rolled her eyes, and said in the snarkiest way possible,

“You could have scratched off the price instead while leaving the UPC intact.”

I just gaped at her and did not reward her with an answer. I’m the one who should be frustrated here, not her. AND. Once I purchase an item, I OWN it. If I want to take off the UPC and open the box in a strange way, that’s my prerogative. Where’s the apology about the broken item? Where’s the cheerful, kind person who greeted me not two minutes ago?

Did I mention I had the receipt? The receipt that was bar-coded? All she had to do was scan the receipt and item came up. Having the UPC wasn’t even needed to exchange the item. I kept my mouth shut not allowing her to ruin my good mood.

Once the exchange was complete she handed me the new lamp in a new bag, smiled genuinely and kindly wished us a very happy New Year. Not one hint of the snarky bitch she was being 2 minutes ago.

Cody-Man turned 7 yesterday

I can’t believe my little guy is 7 years old. I remember vividly being that age. What a wonderful time. The world was still full of magic, but you were JUST starting to figure some of it out. We had a great day of playing Halo and Godzilla games on the XBox and some other random fun. It was a very tiring day 😉

Grandma Carolyn came over for his birthday too! That was quite a treat. She bought him the coolest Spiderman utility-wrist thing. It was like some kind of Batman utility belt. It had a web shooter that shot silly string (Grrr!), a Water gun, a rubber web shooter, a 6 shot missile launcher and a nerf dart shooter! We got him some cool learning toys. A motorized gear set where you can build all sorts of gizmos out of gears and pulleys and power it with a battery operated motor, and a Veterinarian playset where you can take X-Rays of dogs and perform all sorts of puppy medicine. He loved that.

We’re also picking him up a GOOD bike for once. We’ve gotten him a few bikes from the local stores only to have the fall to pieces within a week. (His last bike had BOTH tires literally explode the next day while it was just sitting in the back yard.. not even in direct sunlight, then the seat broke off after we replaced the tires. We went to Battleground Bicycle shop but they were closed on Sunday, in spite of advertising that they were OPEN in the yellow pages. (We’ll get it this weekend, on Saturday.)

We then went to Chuck-E-Cheeses and gamed our butts off and ate cake and ice cream. I love the simple times.