The Arsenal

There’s been some questions about how much I really did exaggerate in my post yesterday, War has been declared. I offer you some evidence in the form of photos. After viewing the evidence, you can judge for yourself just how much truth bending occurred yesterday.

Here’s your first photo evidence. This is only part of their arsenal. See the books? I’d like to think my kids are super interested in their education, but those big heavy books make great anchors for their blanket/clothing forts. Also, if you look closely, you’ll catch a glimpse of our youngest soldier.

Nerf Dart Gun Arsenal, that includes the Machine Gun (aka The Vulcan)

Nerf Dart Gun Arsenal, that includes the "Machine Gun" (aka The Vulcan)

While not pictured, Kayla was the target.

Shooting Kayla as she arrived

Shooting Kayla as she arrived

This machine gun is almost as big as Cody.

This "machine gun" is almost as big as Cody.

Note the man on the floor, the dart sticking out of his forehead, the ottoman on its side, the blanket over the couch and ottoman, and the pile of blankets and pillows on the floor.

Note the man on the floor, the dart sticking out of his forehead, the ottoman on its side, the blanket over the couch and ottoman, and the pile of blankets and pillows on the floor.

I rest my case.

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War has been declared

Nerf Darts... EVERYWHERE! It all started here.

The younger boys exchanged their helicopters for nerf dart guns and it’s been WAR ever since.

One of the older boys decided he needed to get a nerf dart gun. Then the other older boy decided he needed one too, then another, then a nerf dart machine gun. THEN. The oldest boy (aka Jack, aka the father of all these boys) needed one too.

Furniture is being re-arranged. Darts fly across the house constantly. I find nerf darts in the sink, on my desk, in the heater vents, in our food, in the pantry, laundry room, kitchen, dining room, and stuck to any surface a nerf dart will stick. We have small nerf darts, and big nerf darts, and glow in the dark nerf darts.

The girls in this house? Well, all the boys managed to corrupt the youngest one so she’s joined their war, while Sissa and I just put up with it the best we can. Sure we can’t watch TV from the comfort of our couch because 9 times out of 10 the couch cushions are missing since they make great barricades. It wouldn’t matter anyway since there’s likely 58 darts stuck to the TV screen. Sometimes in patterns.

In my house, it’s now quite common to find a boy, or girl, or two boys and a fully grown man dramatically crawling across the carpet, combat style, telling everyone else to shush, while somewhere else in the house you’ll hear someone scream, “YOU’RE DEAD!! I SHOT YOU FAIR AND SQUARE! (…not in the face mom…)”.

If you want to visit us from now on, I must warn you: Come fully armored. You’ll likely be greeted by 67 nerf darts flying at you from all directions and the words, “Darn I thought you were dad” the second the door is opened.

If you don’t have good balance and quick reflexes, I advise you to not come over at all. In order to navigate my house, you must be ready to dodge while navigating chairs and any movable hard surface with pillows, blankets, and possible large clothing items covering them, most times blocking the entrance to, well… anywhere. That includes the bathroom. So make sure you “go” before you come over.

OK. Fine. I *might* be exaggerating. But only a little.

I'm trying out for American Idol

After two days of playing RockBand with the family, I’ve decided I’m a good (<— wishful thinking) bad enough singer to try out for American Idol. I’d fit right in with the rest of the rejects and… why not embarrass myself on national TV? Ahem.

Seriously… it’s bad. As in you would need more computer memory to read the full description of how badly I suck at singing. I always knew I wasn’t great. But now I know that it’s truly awful. Hearing myself through the speakers is paaaaainful. Thankfully you can turn down your mic and only hear the recorded voices from the game. Otherwise I think my family would ban me from playing with them. For life.