Bullet Sunday #16

It’s been a while since I’ve done a Bullet Sunday and there’s so much random stuff going on I figured it was fitting to do one today.

  • Last weekend the sun was shining, it was close to 80 degrees outside and we had a BBQ. This weekend we’re taking pictures of the snow that fell. SNOW. In April. This just isn’t right. It wasn’t a lot of snow and it’s gone now but still. Snow? In April? Unheard of around here.

    Snow that fell April 19, 2008

  • Today’s the day we get to go to JCPenney and to have them correct their mistake. I have to quote Jeff in the comments on that post because he gave an awesome suggestion for how to handle it:

    Jeff on April 20th, 2008 at 7:29 am

    (((RING))) (((RING))) (((RING)))

    Tracie: “Hello, Store Manager? Yes, I’d like you to send someone out to the house to finish the job that your sales clerk didn’t.”

    Store Manager: “Well, Ma’am, I don’t think I can do that.”

    Tracie: “I’ll come to you, then. I’ll be the one with the flock of kids running wild up & down your aisles of nice, light-colored, ladies springtime outfits with triple-scoop chocolate ice cream cones.”

    My kids are usually well-behaved in stores. (I say usually because sometimes when their dad is with them they are less well-behaved because he’s a big dopey kid himself who doesn’t see anything wrong with running up and down the aisles.) But in this case, I think Jeff’s idea is a good one. Don’t you?

  • Today is also the day we will finally replace the stupid vertical blinds that plague our back patio door. I can’t stand them anymore. Though I do think I’ll be in for disappointment. I’m pretty sure the curtain I want will have to be ordered. *sigh* I also want to look at installing some motion sensor lights for our driveway. Our old house had them and I miss being able to turn off the porch light but still have those come on when we came home or when someone comes over.
  • I haven’t updated on my health lately so here’s quickie: I’m doing OK with the Diabetes and my BG levels are pretty under control. I have a doc appointment coming up soon’ish and I’ll find out how my cholesterol levels are. I know he’s going to want to put me back on the Lovastatin and I’m not looking forward to that battle with him. Weight-wise I’m still stuck in the same rut (lost 50 pounds, gained back 10 and have plateaued).
  • I changed up the site design here at spacytracie.com a bit. The basic template is the same but I’ve taken out the colors on the sidebars and changed up the fonts a bit. I also created a graphical logo for the header and a favicon. I think this is easier on the eyes and a bit less busy. What do you think?
  • Who watched Battlestar Galactica? I don’t want to say much … but OMG! Just.. OMG! What a totally messed up episode. OMG! … lol

[tags]bullet sunday,diabetes,living with diabetes,cholesterol,battlestar galactica,vertical blinds,jcpenney,wordpress template,site design[/tags]

Thursday Thirteen #24 – Annoyed

I haven’t done a TT13 in a while so I figured it was time to do one. I wish it could be more positive, but alas, I’ve had a rough couple weeks and I just need to get a few things off my chest. Here’s thirteen things that really annoy me:

Thursday Thirteen
Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

  1. Laundry. That always puts me in a foul mood. A friend said the other day, “why can’t clothing be disposable?” For real. Why can’t it?
  2. Liars. There are many people who lie and think nothing of it. I have zero tolerance for dishonesty.
  3. Judgmental people drive me insane and I’ve had my fill of them lately. Especially the ones who base their judgments on information they *think* they have but really have no clue about. Anyone who’s ever hosted a blog knows all about these types of people.
  4. People who don’t listen or do a good job in the workplace, but will go above your head to try to get others in trouble to make themselves look better lose all respect from me. There’s a word for people like this: brown-noser. Or: ass-kisser.
  5. News flash for the condescending people out there: you make yourself look like a jerk and no one looks up to you.
  6. Self-righteousness, it takes a strong person to admit their faults and learn from their mistakes. It drives me nuts when people can’t.
  7. Screaming fighting children. It’s a BOX boys.. a BOX. Is it really worth screaming at each other over?? (Yes they were fighting over a cardboard box!)
  8. Passive-aggressive behavior makes me twitch and blink. At the same time. I don’t look good when I twitch and blink at the same time. So please just say what you gotta say.
  9. Speaking of looking good, vain people annoy me.
  10. Speaking of looking good and vain people, hypocrites annoy me.
  11. Self-pitying Whiners. If you want something in life you have to go for it. You can’t sit around and wait for others to make life happen for you. John Lennon said, “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” It’s so true!
  12. Losing weight. I seem to take two steps forward, then one step back. I actually researched diet pills the other day after a friend online said she started on Alli. If you know me, you know that’s totally out of character, and being a diabetic, it’s just a no-no…
  13. Did I already mention hypocrites? Just checkin’.

Links to more Thursday Thirteens: Amanda | Chris

[tags]thursday,thirteen,thursday thirteen,tt13,annoying people,annoying things[/tags]

Santa is too fat? Santa should lose weight?

I love Santa! I’ve been reading a lot lately about the size of Santa Claus. Apparently some chick named MeMe Roth wants Santa to lose weight. (I don’t watch Fox News much.) You can watch the YouTube video of MeMe Roth’s debate over Santa’s weight here. I have never heard of this MeMe Roth person but after watching this video, I have zero respect for her and think she’s got some serious issues and needs to pull her head out of her ass.

So, now we have a Keep Santa Fat campaign. I guess this was more serious than I thought?

Tony the Tiger is under attack too. He apparently ‘died today, a victim of Diabetic complications‘. Oooooooooo K.

What’s next? Are the Keebler Elves going to die of a fudge cookie overdose? Is the Pillsbury Dough Boy going to keel over from clogged arteries?

The people coming up with this stuff are reporting what they think is Santa’s “actual” height and weight, and predicting that he has Type II Diabetes. Um… Have they run out of REAL gossip and drama this year? So they need to start making stuff up?

I’ve been trying to think of a way to express exactly how I feel about all this. Then today I read Kerri’s post at six until me and and yes.. YES. That’s IT. Even though Kerri’s a Type I, she gets it.

I get insulted when people blame marketing, icons, TV, commercials, etc. for being overweight. Do people seriously think when I was child I decided being fat was OK because Santa was? Santa being fat sets a bad example for our children?!? No… Those placing blame on stupid stuff like this are setting the bad examples here. They’re teaching our children that it’s OK to place blame on this stuff, rather than teaching their children themselves about what is healthy and what isn’t. Whatever happened to telling kids what they see on TV isn’t always real?

The whole thing is just so weird. It seems to me there’s a large group of people who have become paranoid and convinced people can’t think for themselves.

[tags]MeMe Roth, Santa, Keep Santa Fat, Santa losing weight, Tony the Tiger, diabetes, type 2 diabetes[/tags]

Exercise is cheap

It’s no surprise I struggle with weight issues. Heck, it’s in the tag line in the sidebar under author <—– over there. I know what I need to do to lose weight:

1. Eat regular meals – for me this is the toughest one and likely the second largest reason I struggle with my weight. I tend to not eat enough, therefore putting my body into starvation mode. I am constantly forgetting to eat breakfast. When I finally do eat I overdo it because I'm so hungry.

2. Exercise more – this is the number one reason I struggle with my weight. I have at-home jobs where I'm sitting on my butt all day. I keep telling myself I need to MAKE the time to exercise but I never get around to it.

3. Fear. This may sound strange, but I fear losing weight. I fear that people will look at me differently. I fear I'll lose it then gain it all back. Fear that keeping the weight off will be a life-long commitment for me.

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I also know I'm not the only one who knows it just takes some simple common sense to do something about their weight issues: eat right, exercise, have courage. That's it. That's really ALL there is to it. I know this. You know this. And yet… it's so hard.

Today I read on diet blog, 10 Sobering Revelations About Women and Dieting

A survey conducted on 2000 young women (average age 23) revealed that every pound of weight a woman loses will cost them about £807 (approximately $1660 USD). This includes expenditures such as; gym membership, exercise DVDs, supplements and extra fruits and veggies.

Um… $1600 per pound?! OUCH! That is insane. But somehow I bet it’s true. Look at the cost of these Miracle burn diet pills. From $40 – $86 per month. I’ve never been tempted by diet pills. I’m not a pill-taker and it’s enough that I have to take medication twice a day to help manage my diabetes. But many people are. Many want to pop a pill to fix everything..especially fix being overweight and will pay anything to obtain that goal. Not me. However, I have been lured in with gym memberships and exercise DVDs in the past. I even posted a while back that I was looking into buying some DVD’s for walking in your home. My kids ended up needing shoes and school stuff so I never got around to it…. but I also never got around to even starting any sort of exercise program. Right now I simply cannot afford a gym membership and those DVD’s will have to wait until our after the Christmas and Birthday season is over with around here.

But….I don’t need money to lose weight!!! Exercising is FREE! I know this, you know this… everyone knows this. So… after reading that article today money is no longer going to be one of my excuses. If you struggle as I do, don’t let it be your excuse either. As soon as I post this, I’m going to strap on my iPod Nano and go for a walk.

[tags]weight loss, exercise, eating right[/tags]

Side Effects

Since I’ve started taking the Lovastatin, I have been experiencing an uncomfortable side effect. I did not know this would be a side effect of this medication. The bad thing is the Metformin I’m on can also cause the same side effect. Between that and the fact that I don’t have a gallbladder, I’m pretty much doomed. (And spending more time than I really want to in the bathroom.)

Twice last week I ended up in the bathroom in the middle of the night… awakened out of a dead sleep to take care of things. The second time it happened was the night Jack was working. I was sleeping on the couch waiting for him to come home. When things settled down, I decided to look up the side effects on the good ole’ internet since I was wondering what was causing this. I came across a site that pretty much said I was going to die a painful death if I continued taking the medication. Since it was 4 AM and my brain was only 1/4 awake, it freaked me out. I went back to bed (couch) and drifted back to sleep thinking I’d never take that medication again.

What I read was, the most troubling potential Lovastatin side effects include extreme muscle pain and serious liver problems.

“Lovastatin occasionally causes myopathy (muscle disease) manifested as muscle pain, tenderness or weakness….myopathy sometimes takes the form of rhabdomyolysis (muscle breakdown) with or without acute renal failure.”

And another:

Statin medications decrease your body’s supply of CoEnzyme Q10 (CoQ10), which is an essential nutrient for heart strength and function.

So this was on my mind all the next day. Do I take it more? Talk to my doctor? What should I do? As I was laying in bed the next night my neck muscles started hurting enough to make me want to locate some osteoarthritis relief. It spread down across my shoulders. I shifted positions but it continued, not getting worse but not getting better. I told Jack that’s it, I’m not taking the Lovastatin anymore. I woke up fine, no pain.

I went back to the site yesterday and discovered it’s a site for home remedies. And they were making the risks of the lovastatin sound much worse. Granted, they weren’t lying. What is quoted above IS true from all my research, but their motive is to scare people like me who are silly enough to try to attempt anything coherent at 4 AM to buy their products.

Note: I have nothing against home remedies or alternative / natural products. And it may have just been me being stupid at 4 AM reading too much into their info on the side effects of taking Lovastat.

I’m still taking it and will continue to monitor any/all side effects. I just hope I can get healthy enough to get off both of these medications before I worry myself to death.

[tags]lovastatin, side effects, high cholesterol, lowering cholesterol, diabetes, worrying[/tags]

Sleepy Ramblings

I feel like I need a truck accident lawyer at the end of my days lately. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck! I’m so tired and sore at night. I was ready to pass out at 9:30 PM last night… and was in bed by 10:00 PM. I’m not sure what I’m doing different. Maybe it’s just me getting old.

Ack. No way. That can’t be it.

I have had this nasty cough/virus thing but it’s mostly gone so I doubt that’s it. I guess I’m getting more exercise in with the running up and down the stairs more, running around town doing errands more, and not sitting on my ass at the computer 8 hours a day. And this is really a good thing, considering my current cholesterol level. 😦

Speaking of which; I’ve started the lovastatin… so far no ill effects. I hate taking meds though…. and now I take two different kinds daily. I also got my test strips and even tested yesterday. 101 after lunch. I was happy about that. Hopefully if I lose some more weight some of these issues will clear up and I can stop taking both! That’s my goal anyway. I just got to get over this lack of energy in the evenings.

Anyone have a good suggestion for walking/running shoes? I haven’t bought a pair in years. I don’t think my Birks are going to cut it for the walking I’m going to start doing. If I’m going to be that tired at night, I at least want to know I’ve done something to warrant it!

[tags]housework, chores, walking shoes, walking, diabetes, test strips, cholesterol, bad cholesterol, lovastatin, no energy[/tags]

I am a hypocrite

I did call my doctor yesterday, like I promised I would do. It turns out the results of my HbA1c were good. 6.1 so my diabetes was controlled. But my cholesterol was high… high enough that they sent a letter of explanation and a prescription for lovastatin, asked me to take that for two months then come in for a follow up. I obviously never got the letter, nor the prescription. We went over what address it was sent to and it was correct so I have no idea why I did not receive it. I asked when it was sent and they said… April.

APRIL. I was thinking it was just a “little while ago” that I had my last doctor appointment and labs done. And that it’d only been a few weeks that I was missing the results of that appointment. But it was freakin’ APRIL that they sent me the results! I looked back on my calendar and my actual doctor’s appointment was March 29th. That’s just over 5 months ago. How the hell did I let that much time fly by and not know the results? Why the hell do I have such a hard time staying on top of my health issues? I knew I should have been calling when I didn’t receive the results.. I even mentioned it here, right? But did I do it? NO. I waited until I couldn’t sleep all night to finally kick my own butt and call.

I was pretty bummed out the rest of the night after that. At first I was obsessing on where the letter and prescription went since I didn’t receive it. I was all stressing wondering if my mailman was on crack or if it got stolen and I started to get mad. I should have received that! Jack told me to stop obsessing on it because what’s done is done, I simply did not receive it. Well my anger at not receiving it was BS. I should have followed through. This is my HEALTH I’m neglecting here. And I’m not proud of it in the least. I’m a prime candidate for heart issues; I’m overweight, I’m diabetic, and now I have high cholesterol. I’m not even 40 years old yet. I keep this up? I’d be lucky to see my youngest graduate from high school. That’s not just me being over-dramatic about it… that’s a very likely scenario if I don’t get on top of this. I actually thought last night that I should take out one of those life insurance no medical exam needed policies so at least my family are covered if that scenario did play out. But that’s NOT ME!

Ya know, I’ve always been a take-charge person. I have a problem? I deal with it. I don’t run away from it. I’ve also been the kind of person that can’t stand people who whine about their problems but never seem to do anything to fix the issues. Well slap a big old “H” on my forehead (for hypocrite). This was a harsh reality check for me. A big fat wakeup call. I have absolutely no excuse why I did not follow through when I didn’t get the results. None. Just me fluffing it off as though it were no big deal. And that’s just wrong and totally irresponsible.

Sitting here beating myself up over my negligence isn’t going to do any good though. I’ve accepted at this point that I HAVE a problem. I know how to work through it. Now I just have to do it. And I will. I will.

[tags]diabetes, health issues, high cholesterol, lovastatin, overweight[/tags]

The evils of french fries

The title of my blog indicates this thing is supposed to be about living with Diabetes. As you may have noticed, there hasn’t been much about diabetes at all lately. Why is that?

I’m ashamed. Yes, ashamed! I’ve not been managing it well. My BG levels are ok, I think… but my test strips expired and I never got around to renewing the prescription to get more. I take my daily doses of the Metformin I’ve been on forever now, and, well, that’s about it.

I am back in the denial phase. I’ve even gained back some of the weight I had lost. Not all of it, but some. It all started with a few french fries. Yes, I said french fries. CURSE THOSE EVIL FRENCH FRIES.

When I originally lost weight, the first thing I did was stop eating french fries. Anytime we ate out, I either didn’t order them or I threw them away when they came with my meal. I got to the point where even the smell of them didn’t appeal to me at all. I had made up my mind that french fries were evil and I would never eat them again.

I don’t remember exactly when it happened but I remember being at a restaurant and someone ordered some fries then commented on how good they were dipped in ranch. I figured one couldn’t hurt. OMG it was good. The next time I was near them, I figured one or two wouldn’t hurt. Then the next time, one or three.. one or four.. one or ten…. you get the picture.

French fries are like my cocaine. I can’t eat just one. And when they are in front of me, I can’t not sample, and sample, and sample. This pretty much led to a mindset that “oh one of these or one of those won’t hurt” until I’m now ordering full meals of stuff that DOES in fact hurt and that I should not be eating. Ice cream, greasy cheeseburgers with the works, baked potatoes smothered in butter and sour cream.

So this is my admission that I’m not making the best food choices right now. As a result weight has come back on. I’m in a cycle of beating myself up over it every time I do poorly at meal times, yet come meal times I seem to have zero impulse control. Being a diabetic, this is not good. As such I choose not to write about it on here because then the internet can think I’m doing just fine diabetic-wise and that’s why there’s not much diabetic-related on here. Well, that’s simply not true. I’m not doing fine being a diabetic and it’s starting to show in more ways than one.

The fact is, I simply HATE even SAYING I have diabetes…. so much so that I’ve almost changed the title on this blog several times. I have thought about erasing anything diabetic related on here. I did remove the diabetes in the title for about a day. Then put it back when I realized I was in denial again. This was about a month ago. It’s almost like I look at the diabetes as being something outside of my actual being. If that makes sense. I guess I see two of me. One that is just fine but overweight, and one that is overweight and diabetic. I prefer the “just overweight” me. Because somehow that is easier to accept. The diabetic me is somehow broken, and not normal. And I have a hard time accepting that. I know it’s not healthy for me to view the diabetic me that way, but I can’t help it.

Since I’ve had more time on my hands, I’ve had more time to think, too. Think about the diabetes, the fact that I’m overweight. Primarily the fact that I’m overweight and have gained some of the weight I lost back. I’ve also been doing some research. I need to exercise more. It’s amazing how hard it is to work exercise into your day! Even when you’re home all day. But I have a lot of kids and a lot of things to do. I keep viewing exercise as this big time consuming thing I must block out hours for daily and that seems too much… and I keep thinking I’ll eventually figure it out. In the past, I’ve purchased work out videos, mostly aerobic DVD’s but they were kinda crappy with crappy music. So now they are shoved to the back of my DVD shelf. I started doing some research to find something easier, motivating, etc. And I think I’ve settled on a system… that involves walking in your home. The DVD’s are inexpensive and they might just work.

At least it’s a step in the right direction.

[tags]diabetes, overweight, exercise, workouts, health, french fries[/tags]

Plateau

I haven’t written much about my diabetes or my health in general. That’s primarily because I’m still just truckin’ along. I haven’t lost (or gained) any more weight to speak of. I’ve sorta been on a plateau coasting along. I’d like to change that, but it seems I’m always lacking something in the motivation department.

5 more gone

I’ve lost another 5 pounds. I haven’t really been tracking it lately since I’ve been busy with the holidays and work. But on New Year’s eve, I was trying to pick out clothes to wear. I decided on a beige skort I bought a few weeks before we went to Hawaii in February. I wore this skort in Hawaii and it was a tad loose but it still fit. Well, when I put it on Saturday evening, it fell off. And not only did it fall off, you could almost fit a kid in there with me, lol. (I say that because my 10 year old daughter said “I could fit in there with you!”)

Then I tried on some shorts I wore in Hawaii. Same thing. They fall right off and look ridiculous with a belt since they are so big.

This really blew me away. Because I haven’t really done much to try to lose any more weight. I haven’t gotten back into exercising or anything. And in all honesty, I still struggle with my eating habits. Where I struggle is eating consistently. I forget to eat breakfast a lot. I tend to not eat much throughout the day then have large dinners because I’m so hungry by then.

But I do still watch what I am eating. I don’t eat as much as I used to and my appetite is definitely smaller than what it used to be. (Took the kids to spend our burger bucks at Burger King yesterday and I could barely eat one chicken sandwich.)

So yesterday after my shower, I hopped on the scale. I was down 5 more pounds. I updated my little ticker below and it feels good to see progress even though I’m not actively trying. Maybe it’s better this way, though. Because when I do focus on it, I’m sure I’ll get even better results.

I’m taking my time at losing this weight. When it’s off, I want it off forever. I don’t want to bounce around. So if that means I lose slowly, so be it. As long as I’m making progress.