Keeping score

When I typed up this post the other day, at the last minute I mentioned I should keep score. Ever since then I’ve gone to bed with the score in my head. It’s not something I planned or thought about ahead of time. It literally popped into my head at the time I typed it. Then I started wondering what exactly I am keeping score of?

I read a lot of blogs of people who have diabetes. Many (most) of them have type 1 diabetes or are insulin dependent. I feel for what they go through and sometimes I feel guilty for the whining I do about my own diabetes. The guilt primarily stems from the knowledge that I am not doing much to manage my own diabetes, while they struggle with injections, constant testing, insulin pumps, etc. All things I don’t have to deal with.

Having been insulin dependent for an entire pregnancy I have a small taste of what’s it’s like to manage that type of diabetes on a day to day basis. That was only 8 months. The blogs I read are doing this for LIFE!

In many ways it was easier for me to manage the diabetes when I was on insulin. It was so much more in my face and part of my daily routine. The constant testing, the injections, learning how to compensate for highs and lows. I even learned how to plan ahead for meals I knew would have a higher carb and/or sugar content and adjusting my insulin injections accordingly.

It wasn’t just the insulin. The biggest motivation for me to keep things under tight control was the diabetes wasn’t just affecting me. There was a baby inside me I had to consider as well. This was true also when I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes during the previous pregnancy. I had such control over the diabetes during that pregnancy that I lost weight. My total weight gain for that pregnancy was 4 lbs. The baby was born an 8lbs 10oz. When you add the baby’s weight, the fluids, etc. I lost over 20 lbs during the pregnancy. And that was with diet alone!

It’s been over 7 years since I’ve been pregnant and I’ve had a pretty crappy attitude towards my diabetes ever since. Sure I have taken the horse supplements sized pills I’m supposed to take faithfully morning and night for 3.5 years, I lost some weight, and I’ve tested here and there. That’s pretty much all I’ve done to manage this. Other than the pills, there’s been no daily routine for me. And I’ve had it in my head it’s just me so it’s not a big deal.

I really do want to change my attitude. It DOES still affect my family. Especially if my diabetes or complications from diabetes takes years off my life. The thought of that really scares me.

For the past few days, keeping score has been a silly way for me to find some motivation to do something every day that helps me manage and control not only the diabetes, but the weight issues as well. I guess you could say I score a point for the days I do something about my diabetes: the days I feel I have done well to overcome some aspect of it. If I do even just one thing daily, no matter how small, I’ve had a successful day diabetes-wise. It’s working so far so I’m sticking with it.

This weekend I scored only one point sadly. This is actually what made me wonder how I’m going to keep score. When does the diabetes score one?? I guess it’s going to be the days I did absolutely nothing to manage or control it, or the days I utterly fail at the basics like I did on Friday.

I scored a half a point Saturday and Sunday for a total of 1 point for the weekend. I didn’t get my walks in. I could have, but was busy and never worked it in. (AKA: I made a million excuses, though the one about my shins hurting was 100% true! :)) I also didn’t consistently eat 100% healthy the whole weekend. At the same time, there were times I did make a conscious effort to eat smaller portions and I found ways to get small exercises in. (No cardio, just toning stuff.) I also made the decision to look into jazzercise again and even found a class nearby that has times that would totally work for me. Considering that’s more than I did last weekend, I’ll call it a success. Not enough to score a full point each day, but still a success. 😉

Tracie 3
Diabetes 1

One thought on “Keeping score

  1. Pingback: Clothing, I hates it | SpacyTracie - Living with Diabetes

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